endless ...

sometimes death suits some people perfectly .. " Lelouch Lamperouch " i envy you .. i just want a similar carriage that you crushed your tired body on to it carrying your lifeless body towards endless green fields ahead .. i envy you because you'll never feel tired again ,... you'll never see so many meaningless people around you again ... you'll never face countless disappointments anymore ... you'll never be bothered by the annoying knock inside your chest ... not bounded by hours ... you are silently timeless forever ... although i feel my color is fading from this worlds but still not enough to catch up that carriage yet :( ...
noona ~  

flash back

the Thursday before the new year's eve .. me and my friend went buying B-day presents.. that day on way back to my parents pharmacy i was 1 cm away to be hit by a car which i wish it did .. I'd now be in an another world .. dead .. free from all these obligations ..cruelty around me .. or I'd get amnesia forget about alien B .. i really don't know what to tell you alien B ... I'M JUST Tired of all disappointments i've been through this year especially.. . 

:( i'm nothing

i can't express how I'm feeling right now its the most sad feeling i've ever felt .. 

i feel so much useless .. so stupid .. because this is too much for my heart to endure anymore  

i was rejected by the only person i loved and still had hope like an idiot bitch and I'm a total loser in school i'm always ending in the bottom of the scores and i'm not that retarded i study hard when its time of study i try i understand the subjects .. but still finish last its painful so painful to be like this help me Allah take me from this cruel world .. i wasn't like this i  wasn't this stupid i used to be the top of my class i used to be happy i used to be something but now am just an easy stupid girl that sucks in every aspect of life and damn  my dreams are just so little and small but luck makes it so impossible , i just wanted to be like the others sometimes .. like not finishing always last its disappointing ... my life is so disappointing  .. i loved a guy with all my heart more than anything in the world and told him my feelings honestly and he just turned me down without explanation in a blink .. i hate my life i wish i die right now because nothing will ever make me happy after this i lost my fate in the word "happy" ... i wish i never met this kind of fake people around me ..  i wish i had someone to cry for and understand me ... i wish i could tell that someone that I'm sad so sad i never been like this i used to be good . i wasn't this easy that idiot made me like this i wish i never loved you  ... its so accumulative this pain ..          first alien B and now this i no longer have the ability to stand and smile like i always do ... move on say tomorrow is better because i cry every night and tomorrow is never OK for me ...  I'm so tired ...  i wish God takes my soul soon  because ... stupid people like me don't deserve to live .   

 

 

Alien B

i love you more than life itself ... 

you are so pure like a snow flake ... i love you because you are not a show off like the other guys ..
i love you because you are so quite ... i love you because you are so different ... i love you because you are "you" <3 
and it kills me inside that you don't even like me ..
i know that you get upset by me stuck on loving you but believe me i tried to forget about you and move on but just can't because i love you more than everything else in the world.. more than you could ever imagine .. i can only stay away so-as not to bother you anymore ...
i feel like a stalker .. but i don't care .. i also feel like an easy bad girl :(( .. when you are near the air i breathe becomes so heavy .. my heart aches and its like being ripped out of my ribcage .. I'm really sorry i wish i didn't feel like this and never troubled you but there's nothing i can do so don't hate me please .. 

~ old friend ~

your colors are fading from my world ... where are you? ... i really miss you ... i really miss reading your complex stories ... i miss you encouraging me to write ... i miss your advices ... i don't feel like my old self without you ... "Barion" do you even remember me ? ... teacher i have too many things to tell you ... i did what you told me i've become a med. student ... i write about my feelings ... but I'll never be like you teacher ... i faced the type of senseless people you warned me from and just like you I'm looking for that city where mind peace lies ... have you ever find the Gotham city you talked about with the others ? ... did your nameless story got to an end ? ... do remember that you promised me a copy ? ... where ever you are ... ''Bari'' be safe ... 

البلوزات ذات الشبقــــة :)

this type of blouse i absolutely love .. I'm proud of everyone who wears it and proud of those who wear it on most of the days of the week like myself for example :)) i have a good number of these and intend to get a very big collection in the future Inshalaah .. even alien B has one <3 love you ... back to the point .. these blouses i started to like since a long time ago which i don't remember exactly when but it can be tracked down back to years :p ,, those are like the ~* magical blouses *~ .. and once a friend of my friend told her a very beautiful line about these blouses which sums all my love in one sentence :- 
" if it was a bag of flour with a hood I'd wear it " 

i came up with these advantages i like to share here ~
the advantages :
1- if you are a thin which i mean really really thin person it'll get you some extra pounds << totally i have no idea why i used the pound as a measuring unit :p so just go with the flow here .. I'm feeling high and feverish ;p
2- if you are a chubby person , it'll help you take some of the extra pounds and adds cuteness to you ^_^
3- if you are obese it'll not take the extra kilos hhhh but it'll give your jelly belly a cute shape and gives you an element of  cuteness so i recommend obese people to wear it constantly @__@ 
4- if you are going out in hurry then its the perfect outfit to choose cuz its fast to wear .. fast to take off and comes with different colors and styles ^o^ .

5- if you are a cute person then you should wear those cuz it'll make you super extra cute like alien B <3 i love you :(( 
6- if you want to buy your girl friend \ close friend \ brother \ anyone a present it suits as a very cute present .. 
7- it is the best out fit for work , cold days , shopping , etc..
 8- if you are looking for a comfy warm clothing those are THE ones you're looking for :) .
*if i find some other advantages or you have some in your mind please do tell <3 


the disadvantages :

none >:))))