The man i fell in love with :">

I was right from the moment my eyes laid on you ! 


 i knew he is an angel .. 


the closer i get to him the more i get filled with fear .. I'm afraid that he'll see me very corrupted, I'm afraid that he'll despise me someday because of my bad qualities, I'm scared that people around him might dislike him because of me, I'm frightened to lose him, i feel safe & warm when I'm near him, i feel pure, i never want to lose this feeling .. he got this kind warm aura which i love so much .. he's innocent like little kid the thing that makes me worried about him all the time I'm afraid that some may misunderstand him for it or use it against him, I'm afraid if he get hurt by people for his kindness.. also i fear that i don't deserve him , no i believe so, I'm so much corrupted compared to him he is the light and i represent the darkness, I'm a selfish cruel person & very greedy one, i can't believe how he loves me , i feel bad when i think like this, he has very good qualities not just me who says this he is acknowledged by all, this makes me both happy and sad, happy because I'm in love with a guy like him yet so sad that it makes me feel bad about myself to think that he deserves a better much better person, i love this love I'm having for him,, the way it makes me at ease, the way he comforts me, cares about me i feel lucky , i never want to lose you , i can't tolerate losing you never please my angel never leave me .. 


he always finds the right things to say .. so stubborn when he wants a certain thing the most what i like about him :p he got the nicest sweetest voice i've ever heard :"> i love him above all , my precious baboosh, may Allah keep you safe for me .. for me.. only me .. i never tolerate it when he is a little sad because of me when  i get angry i hurt him but i don't mean it, its out of jealousy or when i get him in a wrong way, he is a true gentle man my baboosh & I'm ready to do anything for him even if it costs me my life. 

don't go ..

test .. test ..


been ages since the last time i've posted here .. well i've been busy lots happened /


my angel baboosh just called me now to tell me that he is getting on the plain with his friends to turkey .. i miss him so much .. when i think about him i get tears in my eyes :*(, i couldn't hold my tears the past 2 days and i annoyed you i'm sorry i know i'm so selfish i want you for me alone , i hate sharing you, i get jealous from your friends :p, but hate to see you sad, i hope he doesn't think that i don't want him to enjoy and be happy, i do want him to be happy all time and have fun with his friends but i love him so much & i miss him thats why i can't hold my tears and be cruel with him, hurt him non-deliberately , i can't live without you my angel.. 

i slept all the day trying to make the day pass , I'm depressed that he's not going to be here tomorrow morning I'm so much used to hear his gentle voice on the phone calling me noona .. or the sounds he make when he's sleepy .. i'm going to miss him tonight, i wish to talk to you like every night :( i miss you baby baboosh .. i miss the way you care about me, how you tell me that  i shouldn't be late at night, how you follow up my sleep, eating pattern, i miss imitating you and your laughing about it .. i even miss the way we fight and make up soon after ... i miss your passion :"> .. come home soon , i'm waiting please come soon , i can't stand it, 12 days are too long for me , i'm counting the hours, to be able to talk to you .. i'm scared to recieve my exam results and you're not here, i love you, baboosh above all <3 my cute angel . my baby baboosh, my one and only, my everything .