:( i'm nothing

i can't express how I'm feeling right now its the most sad feeling i've ever felt .. 

i feel so much useless .. so stupid .. because this is too much for my heart to endure anymore  

i was rejected by the only person i loved and still had hope like an idiot bitch and I'm a total loser in school i'm always ending in the bottom of the scores and i'm not that retarded i study hard when its time of study i try i understand the subjects .. but still finish last its painful so painful to be like this help me Allah take me from this cruel world .. i wasn't like this i  wasn't this stupid i used to be the top of my class i used to be happy i used to be something but now am just an easy stupid girl that sucks in every aspect of life and damn  my dreams are just so little and small but luck makes it so impossible , i just wanted to be like the others sometimes .. like not finishing always last its disappointing ... my life is so disappointing  .. i loved a guy with all my heart more than anything in the world and told him my feelings honestly and he just turned me down without explanation in a blink .. i hate my life i wish i die right now because nothing will ever make me happy after this i lost my fate in the word "happy" ... i wish i never met this kind of fake people around me ..  i wish i had someone to cry for and understand me ... i wish i could tell that someone that I'm sad so sad i never been like this i used to be good . i wasn't this easy that idiot made me like this i wish i never loved you  ... its so accumulative this pain ..          first alien B and now this i no longer have the ability to stand and smile like i always do ... move on say tomorrow is better because i cry every night and tomorrow is never OK for me ...  I'm so tired ...  i wish God takes my soul soon  because ... stupid people like me don't deserve to live .