guilty

I'll never forgive myself for destroying the manga i spent so much time drawing it, i no longer have the guts to hold the pen and draw i feel guilty :( i want to hold the pen and draw alien b  but i can't i just freeze i need therapy for this one although natzi chan was tempting me today to draw :p  and he asked me if i quit drawing in his cool way making a simple joke :)) i hope i'll get back drawing and enjoy like i used to ^^ wish me luck <3 well i need tons of luck with my unlucky state :| 

my music taste !!

my music taste thanks to my brother got so weird especially lately , a mixture of slipknot \ hinder \ Marilyn Manson was the last straw i feel sick sometimes just by listening to him but i like his style i know creepy and a little bit sickish !!
so much rock music disturbs your internal peace & sanity which turns you into this wild creature .. so i manage to balance by some girly girly songs :p .. i must listen to girly songs when alien b makes me happy <3 and does something nice or tells me something nice i  love you so much  my angel .. i also listen to rock music to express my anger sometimes >:) .. but with all kinds of rock music i listen to HINDER  remains my NUMBER 1  band <3 <3 that'll never change ,their music is life saving to me,  though i don't recommend my taste for no one can tolerate it usually ^___^' 

snuff

 I'm not gonna talk about alien b this time ... although i can't stop myself from doing so .. i love him so much ,  i love him to the point that  no one can ever imagine :p .. i can't believe that such pure creature like him exists on this planet .. he is an angel for sure ... wanna hug him :''> and never let go .. 

anyways i am here to talk about a song ! yup .. named SNUFF  i find it very very very perfect .. the lyrics is just awesome .. can't stop from listening to it over & over & over .. its a really great song i recommend everyone to listen to <3
 

chop sticks

my heart is about to burst  .. still in shock .. absolute  shock + its the happiest day of my life .. << i don't know if its the happiest day in my life or I'm just having a dream a very sweet dream ...  I'm having tachycardia for hours ,, can't stop myself from smiling stupidly .. Alien B .. you made me so happy today,, so happy that I'm so scared of tomorrow when you return ignoring me and be so cold & give me your back  giving me a cold shoulder and avoiding eye contact but thats OK ... i  just want to live the moment but I'm the scared type , the worried type ... GOD I'm shaking like a leaf ,, can't believe it :((   ... i love you so much, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you the most , there's no one in this planet compared to you, you are so pure you are not human you are an alien you are an angel-alien <3 i can't stop myself from loving you and never will .. you sweet innocent alien ... my precious ... king of my heart <3 ... my soul  ... my everything ... i wish i die right now cuz I'm happy .. no one ever made me this happy my love ,my only love ... please i don't want tomorrow to come , i want to live the moment ... thank you it is the most precious gift i've ever received i'll hold on to it till the day i die .. i can't express it by words i wanted to hug you in front all the people but i thought you'll hate me :( ... please be gentle and love me a little like today :( please ... i love you alien B .. "baboosh" ... <3 

my valentine although i don't know the hell this word means just suited the words below :p

there is just no WAY i would give up on loving you i realize that now huh! ... never ... even if i moved on,,  you are the one and last true love ...  i won't love another man like you never ... for me you are so precious ... more than anything else , more than anyone in this world ... I'd die for you ... Alien B i love you and i'll always will till my last breath i'll have hope  ,,, you are so cold and cruel .. still i love you no matter what you do ... no matter what ... how much i get hurt by you ignoring me it won't stop me from loving you ... i cry silently ,,, still i love you ... its something i can't control ... you give me love i can't describe <3 
please love me a little .. i'm so tired so tired of hoping :( 

scattred points about noona

i have some weird habits like chewing gums i chewed several days ago :p and then stick them on tables or any side i find around me .. you might get disgusted by this but thats how i work :p 

i also speak during sleep .. i also make weird noises " noted by my friend and family ".. its creepy ~_~"  i know .. the last time i told the person who called me while i was sleeping that anti fungals are useful drugs hhhhh thats much i was told  :| 

i only drink tea with cheese ... other than that i really hate it .. to me its related to breakfast only ... 


i have a very weird taste in music , i never found my match friend in music yet .. hopefully I'll do ~__~"

i also entered this quite phase of my life .. i feel old :(

i really really hate goodbyes i get so emotional like a little kid ... 


i cry alot as some people complain but its not like i cry without a reason .. its because you don't know what it feels so people  shhh not interested in your opinions !  


the scary thing about me is that my brain has three areas the 1st one is for cute and ppl i love the second one is for regular ppl with no particular emotions towards then the 3rd is area for ppl I'm disgusted from .. and its instantaneously if someone fell to one of the area will remain there for so long if not forever :p